Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past year (and with the way the world’s news is trending these days, that might be preferable), you know that the movie adaptation of Moneyball is coming out today.
With that in mind, the VORG proudly presents its own film festival, based on anagrams of “Moneyball”:
LONEYBALM: Slugging-challenged first baseman seeks to cure his batting woes through use of a “cream”. Barry Bonds makes cameo as himself, appearing in a dream sequence to warn Loney to feign ignorance as to what he is/was using.
BELLYMOAN: “The Panda” Pablo Sandoval suffers through a trying 2011 season, as his battle of the bulge seems to be wavering. Richard Simmons co-stars as Sandoval’s spiritual guide, and they come out with a line of “Sweatpandas” sweatpants.
MLBALONEY: Documentarian/lightning rod Michael Moore sets his sights on 245 Park Avenue, goading Commissioner Selig to come clean on what he knew about the “steroids era”, the Madoff/Wilpon mess, the “Frank McCourt and his own self” mess, and the stupid MLB blackout rules.