VORG’s All-Haiku Review of the 2012 HOF Results

5-7-5 . . . a really nice career winning percentage or lousy career OPS.  An extremely odd putout (bottom of first inning of this game … hat tip to Chris St. John for finding it).  Or … the preface to an-Haiku recap of the recently announced Hall of Fame results.  Lets start at the top:

Hail Barry Larkin
So the third time IS the charm
Welcome to the Hall

Jack Morris made strides
Needs another eight percent
Over next two years

Jeff Bagwell up next
Never tested positive
But some don’t buy it

Lee Smith rose above
Fifty percent line, still has
Five years left on clock

Tim Raines moving now
Do voters understand walk
Is as good as hit?

Alan Trammell sighs
At fuss made over Morris
Alan’s defense helped!

Edgar Martinez
So he was “only” DH?
Bat trumps no defense

Fred McGriff unloved
Has trouble gaining votes at
Crowded position

Larry Walker pouts
As voters look at Coors and
Discount his big stats

Mark McGwire knows
That he’ll have company soon
In Hall’s “Steroid Wing”

Don Mattingly‘s back
Probably cost him shot at
Immortality

Dale Murphy like Don
Torrid career peak but then
Fell back to earth … thud!

Raffy Palmeiro
Writers are now ones wagging
Their fingers at him

Bernie Williams says
Ten percent keeps me alive
Not “clearance rack” yet

Juan Gonzalez? Wow!
400 homers doesn’t
Equal five percent

Vinny Castilla
He is baseball’s “one percent”
At least for this vote

Tim Salmon failed to
Get the minimum vote so
Lovely parting gifts?

Bill Mueller grand slams
Both sides of plate in same game
And World Series ring

Brad Radke‘s higher
Career WAR than Morris yet
No one touted *him*

Eric Young‘s one “yay”?
Someone confused by the phrase
“Get out the youth vote”

Javy Lopez got
One vote also . . . that’s still more
Than next six combined

Jeromy Burnitz
Three hundred fifteen homers
Not one ballot cast

Ruben Sierra
Credentials better for drink
Called “Sierra Missed”

Phil Nevin first pick
Of first round in ninety-two
Sixth pick was Jeter

Brian Jordan had
Careers in baseball, football
That’s still pretty cool!

Terry Mulholland
Pitched for eleven teams, a
WHIP in every port?

Tony Womack had
Trouble getting on base and
Pulled 0-for-ballot

4 thoughts on “VORG’s All-Haiku Review of the 2012 HOF Results

  1. This got more hilarious as it went, with Castilla, Young, and Sierra excellent. Does the McGwire one imply that he’s in the Hall’s “Steroid Wing,” and that the Hall’s Steroid Wing is in the Hall? And how many syllables in “Williams”? Guess that one’s a judgment call.

    • Depending on one’s spot in a lineup, a walk IS as good as a hit. If you’ve ever played “Strat-o-Matic”, you know the feeling when you waste a SINGLE** when a WALK will do. Raines’ job was to get on base in any manner possible, and he did exactly that, very well. HOF voters have been fixated on BA when OBP is the better measure. Give me the .280/.400 guy over the .340/.340 guy most days of the week.

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