Wednesday will be February 1st, and a couple of weeks after that, we’ll have pitchers and catchers reporting. Its a time of anticipation and joy . . . Spring Training (even though, technically most of the training occurs during the last weeks of Winter, but I digress).
Many of you have started to think about your fantasy baseball teams. Regardless of what format you play in, perhaps you are searching for a new “identity” for your squad . . . a moniker that says to your fellow owners “this year will be different . . . this year will be OUR year (or at least it might say “hey, our team still sucks, but we DO have a catchy name!)
With that in mind, you might scour the web seeking inspiration for a new team name. You might come upon a site like “FantasyTeamNames.net“, where users post suggestions and they get voted on by others. Some of them are quite clever/punny, such as “Honey Nut Ichiros”, “Funky Cold Molina” and “Latos Intolerant”.
If after browsing through those possibilities you still find yourself searching for a name, the VORG is hereby offering its own gently-used, “just one owner” team names that need to be moved to make way for the new season names.
Are you a Mets fan still lamenting the Jim Duquette time as the team’s GM? Do you find yourself sitting around the Hot Stove talking about a one-time top pitching prospect that burned out way too soon? Do you often feel cold? Do you like goats? Well, if the answer any one of those questions is “yes!”, then might I suggest the team name “Kazmir Sweaters”.
Here we have one for classic Sci-Fi fans. It pays tribute to one of the UK’s longest-running TV series, and its main antagonist, a cyborg being bent on destruction. The cyborg’s maneuverability (or lack thereof) combine wonderfully well with the other part of the team name, an homage to a wildly-popular but range-challenged shortstop. I’m speaking of course of “Dalek Jeter”.
For the folks who want something a bit more “down to Earth”, the VORG is pleased to present this ode to spitting. It starts with middle infielder for the Twins of the late 1990s, combines it with the term for a southpaw relief specialist and in doing so merges it with expectoration. Its “Denny Hocking a LOOGY”.
Calling all Red Sox fans! Are you a supporter of your small-framed, gritty second baseman? Do you want to say something to those who might belittle him. Then have I got a name for you . . . say hello to my little friend . . . “Pedroia Own Conclusions”.
This one is for the medheads out there. Are you constantly following the disabled list? Do you know just how they perform Tommy John surgery? Are you aware of all the painful conditions that can afflict a foot, especially a foot that runs on hard surfaces? Politically, does the notion of a radical authoritarian nationalist political ideology excite you? Then why not should your pride in medical knowledge AND a certain politic by naming your team “Plantar Fascists”?
Once upon a time, Aerosmith was the predominant American rock and roll band. You can honor that memory and give props to one of the few players that have a first name starting with X by naming your team “Dude Hits Like a Nady“.
Are you part of the “99 percent”? Are you fed up with the “1 percenters”? Are you a fan a particular relief pitcher who has been a member of now three different West Coast teams? Then why not name your team “Occupy Huston Street“.
Whatever you decide to call your team, I wish you well in the coming year!
Sincerely, the VORG (current owner of a team named “Evan Logorrhea“)