The VORG’s All-Haiku 1st-Half Review/2nd-Half Preview

Now that the All Star game is done with for another year, we can get back to games that really DO count.  But before that, let’s examine what has happened to each team to this point, and wonder what the final three months holds in store  . . . through haiku.

Yankees aging core
Somehow overcome the aches
Checkbook covers warts

Orioles surprise
Pitching finally holds up
Is Thome key piece?

Rays miss their Longo
Defense not quite as solid
Maddon works magic

Boston in limbo
Bobby V’s machinations
Can’t heal their injured

Jays are truly blue
Rotation reminds one of
Spinal Tap drummers

ChiSox surprise all
Dunn reborn, Peavy renewed
Youk upgrades third base

Cleveland rocks Central
Smoke and mirrors roster wins
Grady Sizemore who?

Tigers burning blight
Miggy and Prince and who else?
Verlander needs help

KC’s  sunshine banned
The promise of ’12 dimmed by
Putrid rotation

Twins staff allergic
Strikeout pitchers must cause rash
But “Plouffe” fun to say

Texas looking good
But still needs starting pitching
Is Hamels southbound?

Angels show prize Trout
Release him on rest of league
Saves Pujols’ bacon

A’s want to move but
San Jose?  More like move in
With Felix Jose

Mariners offense
Bad on road, worse in Safeco
Ichiro fading

Nats top rotation
And Harper’s bizarre skill set
Pennant hopes alive

Braves hanging in there
Jonny Venters crashed to Earth
Kimbrel still lights out

Mets overachieve
Little from Bay, Davis but
They have Wright of way

Marlins flashy park
Hanley, Reyes, Bell, Guillen
Haven’t added up

Phillies Phortunes Phucked
Howard, Halladay, Utley
Expensive DL

Pittsburgh’s potent staff
McCutchen’s all-around game
82 wins plus?

Reds use workhorse staff
Only five starters so far
Can they keep it up?

Cards missing Pujols?
Offense leads NL in runs
Beltran worth contract

Brewers miss Fielder?
Yes!  Did Gallardo’s control
And Week’s bat go too?

Cubs rebuild begins
Any takers for Sori?
Theo’s hands are full

Houston retools, wave
Bye bye to El Caballo
Altuve’s team now?

Dodgers tread water
While Kemp, Ethier dinged up
Pitching carries load

Giants Panda back
Is he and Melky enough
To offset Timmy?

D’backs pitching? … eh
Offense hit or miss all year
Is Upton goner?

Rockies take beating
Worst staff in Majors coupled
With loss of Tulo

Padres 13 … Film?
No … number of different
Starting pitchers used

7 thoughts on “The VORG’s All-Haiku 1st-Half Review/2nd-Half Preview

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: