The VORG’s All-Haiku HOF Ballot Rundown

The 2013 Hall of Fame ballot was announced yesterday, and of course the VORG has opinions  on all the candidates . . . in Haiku:

Jack Morris wonders
If the writers will end up
Voting to the score

Jeff Bagwell used ‘roids?
Ballot turning on guilt by

Lee Smith saved games for
Eight teams in seventeen years
All those hats for plaque

Tim Raines‘ stats dwarfed
By Rickey’s, but his fans still
Shout out “Long Live Rock”

Alan Trammell helped
Jack Morris’ statline too
But time running out

Edgar Martinez
DHs need some love too
And he was top one

Fred McGriff . . . “Crime Dog”
Seven short of 500
Short on voters too

Larry Walker‘s bid
Hinges on Coors Field bias
Uphill climb for him

Mark McGwire‘s case
Seems simple compared to Bonds
Sosa and Clemens

Don Mattingly‘s star
Burned bright for too short a time
Vote? 0 for 14

Dale Murphy‘s career
Peaked at 31, but some
Still like his chances

Raffy Palmeiro
Wagged his finger at Congress
So voters flagged him

Bernie Williams would
Make the “Hall of Very Good”
This isn’t that vote

Barry Bonds‘ story
Is one you all know by heart
Check back in ten years

Roger Clemens‘ tale
Is quite surreal, his trainer
Kept his DNA?

Mike Piazza‘s path
From 62nd round to
Cooperstown? Could be!

Curt Schilling: You want
Him pitching for you, but not
Running your business

Kenny Lofton‘s wheels,
Bat and defense all sparkled
Same fate as Williams?

Craig Biggio‘s claim:
Three thousand hits, fifth all-time
In doubles, enough?

Sammy Sosa‘s fame:
Sixty-plus homers three times
Clouded by drug test

David Wells lived large
Pitched perfect game while hung over
Not quite Dock Ellis

Steve Finley rare breed
300 homers and steals
Gold Gloves in field too

Julio Franco
Oldest guy to (many things)
AARP great

Reggie Sanders matched
Finley’s “300” dual feat
Not quite the fielder

Shawn Green Jewish stud
Eight fifty OPS but
His Sabbath stats waned

Jeff Cirillo made
Hall by being Unit’s
Four thousandth strikeout

Woody Williams pitched
Game One of a World Series
That’s his highlight reel

Rondell White‘s nickname
Was “Ron-DL”, rightly so
Never stayed healthy

Ryan Klesko‘s D
Was quite poor, but he helped Braves
Win in ’95

Aaron Sele‘s folks
Gave him middle name “Helmer”
That deserves some fame

More than thousand games
For Roberto Hernandez
But walked four per nine

Royce Clayton portrayed
Tejada in “Moneyball”
No “Oscar”, either

Jeff Conine was key
To Marlins’ two Series wins
Hence, “Mr. Marlin”

Mike Stanton thinks he’ll
Make Hall if he changes his
Name to Giancarlo

Sandy Alomar
Will not be joining brother
Roberto in Hall

If Jose Mesa
Makes Hall, don’t invite Vizquel
To Induction Day

Todd Walker never
Made an All-Star team, so don’t
Think he’ll sniff a vote

9 thoughts on “The VORG’s All-Haiku HOF Ballot Rundown

  1. many caps in Hall
    if in, not many Helmer
    just Aaron Sele

    Clayton for Tejada, no Oscar is a funny line. almost as great as the Giancarlo.

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