The VORG’s All-Haiku 2013 HOF Ballot Rundown

The VORG doesn’t have a Hall of Fame ballot to cast.  But we do offer our second annual All-Haiku review of the names on said ballot:

Last chance Jack Morris
A Blyleven-like groundswell
Or a shrug and sigh?

Hey Don Mattingly
You sure were fun to watch play
But no Coop for you

Alan Trammell no shot
If sidekick Lou Whitaker
Can’t get in there first

Lee Smith . . . all those saves
But that WHIP isn’t special
Next reliever please?

Mark McGwire oy!
Too much baggage for voters
But 8 more chances

Tim Raines getting love
From Jay Jaffe and others
If not now, then soon

Edgar Martinez
SHOULD be the first DH in
Such a feared hitter

Fred McGriff better
Candidate than McGwire
Sadly overlooked

Jeff Bagwell never
Failed a test yet some people
Have doubts? This is sad.

Larry Walker test case
For whether voters throw all
Coors Field players out

Raffy Palmeiro
Professional hitter? Yes!
But he lied to us

Craig Biggio says
Who the hell is Murray Chass?
Don’t drink his Kool-Aid

Mike Piazza’s tale
Is a storybook indeed
Just waiting his turn

Curt Schilling’s sock made
It to the Hall, but that might
Be all that gets In

Roger Clemens’ career
Hall-worthy, but will voters
Ignore the court case?

Barry Bonds career
Stats before cream and clear were
Good enough for Hall

Sammy Sosa has
Very cool Twitter account
And no shot at Hall

Greg Maddux . . . surgeon
On the mound, first ballot guy
Will he top Seaver?

Frank Thomas to join
Maddux as first ballot names?
Hard not to see it

Mike Mussina hopes
That crowded ballots don’t knock
Him off in first year

Tom Glavine made it
To magical three hundred
But was Moose better?

Jeff Kent: special bat
But a not-so-special glove
Borderline numbers

Kenny Rogers K’ed
Less than 2 for every walk
Don’t “gamble” on him

Luis Gonzalez
Broke out in early 30s
But not quite enough

Moises Alou awesome
When he was healthy but that
Was too infrequent

Ray Durham never
Led league in anything and
He’ll be one and done

Hideo Nomo
Rookie of year … two no-nos
Lovely parting gifts

Richie Sexson’s nickname
“Big Sexy” . . . he petered out
By thirty-three . . . z-z-z

Paul Lo Duca got
Late start to big league job and
Done at thirty-six

Gopher-prone closer
Armando Benitez made
Things interesting

Mike Timlin: never
To be confused with Steelers
Head Coach Mike Tomlin

Sean Casey: Mayor?
He’ll need to get out the vote
To make five percent

Jacque Jones is only
“Jacque” in baseball history
So at least there’s that

Quebec’s Eric Gagne
Only one Canadian
Has made Hall (Jenkins)

J.T. Snow son of
Former NFL player
Genes go just so far

Todd Jones made save opps
Nerve-wracking, but voters will
Be calm, ignore him

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