By now you know the starting lineups and their affiliations for both teams in the All-Star Game. The VORG is proud to present them here, in anagram form:
Andrew McCutchen, Pirates – Screw dirt-cheap, mean cunt.
Yasiel Puig, Dodgers – Ugly or diseased pig.
Troy Tulowitzki, Rockies – Utilize two tricky rooks.
Paul Goldschmidt, Diamondbacks – Hot pudding blackmails? Odd scam.
Giancarlo Stanton, Marlins – Strong, national carnalism.
Aramis Ramirez, Brewers – Bizarre ears warm miser.
Chase Utley, Phillies – The icy phalluses lie.
Jonathan Lucroy, Brewers – Joy! Heartburn clears now.
Carlos Gomez, Brewers – Zeros screw large mob
Adam Wainwright, Cardinals – Maniac’s daring withdrawal.
Derek Jeter, Yankees – Eyes knee-jerk trade.
Mike Trout, Angels – Geek or stimulant.
Robinson Cano, Mariners – Brains races on in moron.
Miguel Cabrera, Tigers – Terrible garage music.
Jose Bautista, Blue Jays – Joy! Jesus! A suitable bat.
Nelson Cruz, Orioles – Surlier colon zones.
Adam Jones, Orioles – Major loon disease.
Josh Donaldson, Athletics – Old jail enchants hot sods.
Salvador Perez, Royals – Sparsely loved a razor.
Felix Hernandez, Mariners – Learn harm in frenzied sex.