The VORG doesn’t have a Hall of Fame ballot to cast. But we do offer our second annual All-Haiku review of the names on said ballot:
Last chance Jack Morris
A Blyleven-like groundswell
Or a shrug and sigh?
Hey Don Mattingly
You sure were fun to watch play
But no Coop for you
Alan Trammell no shot
If sidekick Lou Whitaker
Can’t get in there first
Lee Smith . . . all those saves
But that WHIP isn’t special
Next reliever please?
Mark McGwire oy!
Too much baggage for voters
But 8 more chances
Tim Raines getting love
From Jay Jaffe and others
If not now, then soon
Edgar Martinez
SHOULD be the first DH in
Such a feared hitter
Fred McGriff better
Candidate than McGwire
Sadly overlooked
Jeff Bagwell never
Failed a test yet some people
Have doubts? This is sad.
Larry Walker test case
For whether voters throw all
Coors Field players out
Raffy Palmeiro
Professional hitter? Yes!
But he lied to us
Craig Biggio says
Who the hell is Murray Chass?
Don’t drink his Kool-Aid
Mike Piazza’s tale
Is a storybook indeed
Just waiting his turn
Curt Schilling’s sock made
It to the Hall, but that might
Be all that gets In
Roger Clemens’ career
Hall-worthy, but will voters
Ignore the court case?
Barry Bonds career
Stats before cream and clear were
Good enough for Hall
Sammy Sosa has
Very cool Twitter account
And no shot at Hall
Greg Maddux . . . surgeon
On the mound, first ballot guy
Will he top Seaver?
Frank Thomas to join
Maddux as first ballot names?
Hard not to see it
Mike Mussina hopes
That crowded ballots don’t knock
Him off in first year
Tom Glavine made it
To magical three hundred
But was Moose better?
Jeff Kent: special bat
But a not-so-special glove
Borderline numbers
Kenny Rogers K’ed
Less than 2 for every walk
Don’t “gamble” on him
Luis Gonzalez
Broke out in early 30s
But not quite enough
Moises Alou awesome
When he was healthy but that
Was too infrequent
Ray Durham never
Led league in anything and
He’ll be one and done
Hideo Nomo
Rookie of year … two no-nos
Lovely parting gifts
Richie Sexson’s nickname
“Big Sexy” . . . he petered out
By thirty-three . . . z-z-z
Paul Lo Duca got
Late start to big league job and
Done at thirty-six
Gopher-prone closer
Armando Benitez made
Things interesting
Mike Timlin: never
To be confused with Steelers
Head Coach Mike Tomlin
Sean Casey: Mayor?
He’ll need to get out the vote
To make five percent
Jacque Jones is only
“Jacque” in baseball history
So at least there’s that
Quebec’s Eric Gagne
Only one Canadian
Has made Hall (Jenkins)
J.T. Snow son of
Former NFL player
Genes go just so far
Todd Jones made save opps
Nerve-wracking, but voters will
Be calm, ignore him